By Popular Demand

A very small list of 'naughties' I got up to as a child/ teenager (small because I was such an angel)

One smack

After my parents split up we moved to Tintinara to live on the farm my grandparents had. One day I refused to do as my grandmother said and was sent to my room; so off I stomped being the precocious child I was and slammed the door. No sooner had I humphed on my bed did the door open and Grandma came in, bent me over and smacked me.

I never slammed a door again; or at least never in Grandma's presence.

***To the smacking police out there - I hold no grudge against my grandma I think it's funny (not to mention I deserved it) - one smack from her and I learnt a lesson; but she was an old hand at smacking having had 4 children of her own. And there's a difference between a smack and a beating.***


Do as mother says

When we were growing up we lived in a small town called Tintinara right across the road from the Area School; and the day before my 7th birthday a few neighbours came over to see if we were allowed to play on the school playground.

Our very loving mother said 'Yes, but don't go on the oval, stay in the playground where I can see you'. 'Yes Mummy' we replied duly...... but of course being the adventurous children we were we soon got bored of the playground and went on the oval.

The friends we were with decided that testing to see who was the strongest by holding up the hockey goals was a great idea. I went along being the sheep I am; however my younger sister refused (she's always been a trendsetter herself so she has nothing to prove!) The first neighbour tried and she could hold it up fine, the second could also. Next was me; and I held it for a few seconds before being startled by the groundsman on his mower.

The hockey goals fell on top of me as I crashed to the ground, pinning me on the chest. My friends quickly 'saved' me and got me out. However I had a very sore arm; so we decided to go to our house and play 'doctor' so they could fix me.

Despite their superior doctor skills; my arm was throbbing with a pain I'd never felt before. And being the good (guilty) daughter I am I confessed to our mother what had happened.

Long story short - our poor mother who was preparing for my party the next day had to make a quick trip to Keith Hospital that evening to find that I had broken my arm. My sister was ecstatic however for 2 reasons - One was we got hot chips for tea that night and the next was I couldn't open my birthday presents the next day so she got to (she promised I could open hers when her next birthday was).

****My sister never let me open her presents the next birthday*****

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Wagging School

When I was in year 10 I had an older boyfriend (who was a total gumbo but I didn't think so at the time). Being the creative sort I am I enlisted him to ring the school office and pretend he was my father and say I had a doctors appointment. The school would then let me out of school. This worked twice I think until one day the school office got suss (probably because we tried it 3 days in a row) - they phoned my mother who got worried and phoned my stepdad ..... of course - he knew nothing of it.

My memory gets vague here (probably subconscious trying to forget) but I do believe my Mum went to the school gate and busted said boyfriend waiting at gate ready to spring me (of course school didn't pass message on to me). Boy were we in trouble!

*I still cringe whenever Mum mentions this story - it's so goddamn embarrassing!*

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Plums!

Living in Tintinara was awesome - we had own fruit trees in our backyard; including plums.

Feeling particularly mean one day when my sister and I whinged we were hungry; Mum refused to give us something to eat before dinner (tea it was probably 20minutes away).

My crafty sister said 'That's ok big sister lets go play outside'..... so we went to the backyard and she proceeded to gobble plums. Again being the follower I am, I did as she did! A few minutes later our Mum called out for us and I asked my sister if I had plum juice on my face so I could go see what she wanted (truth be known she could probably see two little bodies sitting under a tree up to no good).

My sister swore that no; I had a clean face. Confidently going up to my Mum I asked what she wanted. She said 'have you been eating plums?' Of course - never believing my own sister would set me up I replied 'No'.... she asked again and again and I answered 'No' each time. Finally she used the 'If you're honest with me now I won't be so angry'. I confessed (my Mum can still to this day get anything out of me).

Not sure what happened next - possibly wooden spoon action. But the tale goes that my face was practically covered in plum juice so it was obvious from quite a distance that I'd been gorging on plums.